Lost in Adelaide
Hot on the heels of a fresh F1 season, the DNC Newsmobile arrived in Adelaide yesterday, only to discover that interest in the sport appears to have completely dried up.
“The circuit was a bit of an arse to locate, to be honest,” said DNC’s Damon Torsten. “It wasn’t even signposted. From ANYWHERE. And there were none of usual hallmarks you’d expect to find at a Grand Prix, such as banners, grandstands, spectators, racing cars … or people.”
“However,” added Torsten, “I did hear a distant aeroplane engine at one point. I think it may have been one of the RAAF Roulettes on their way.”
During its ’80s and ’90s golden era, the South Australian event attracted a crowd often in excess of 500,000 over the four-days, witnessing some of the greatest spectacles ever staged on wheels.
But we live in frugal times and DNC News is sad to report that global interest in the sport is clearly on the wane. This weekend, a mere four local motoring enthusiasts and a pair or Irish Setters were spotted in Victoria Park, the latter possibly there solely for special St Patrick’s Day walkies.
But it wasn’t all bad news for the sport, Damon divulged.
“On the plus side, we could park pretty much anywhere we wanted, so you have to hand it to the Australians in terms of putting together an event that’s stress-free for the punters. We just ditched the car literally on the side of the Brabham Straight and set up our picnic there. Hopefully the marshals will be cool with that … not that I’ve seen any as yet … but we should have an ace view once the race gets underway. ”
“They’re really cutting it fine if they want to squeeze qualifying in before dusk,” Torsten mused.
At 3.00pm on Sunday, Damonik News reports that there is still no visible action at the track, but we will continue to keep you posted with events as they unfold.
In further developments, DNC’s proposed trip to the Koala Lumpur Sanctuary to report on next weekend’s F1 round is currently under review, re: general justification in going/high petrol expenses/wildlife sanctuaries usually being a bit tacky and disappointing.